My Name Is Lovino
by Skiskooska
Summary: Lovina Vargas has always felt as if she were born in the wrong body. Antonio Fernandéz Carriedo is a senior who volunteers in World Academy's clinic as a therapist. During a dinner-gone-wrong Lovina Vargas discovers who she truly is, a man. After Antonio's display of kindness, Lovino turns to Antonio's guidance, to learn to except himself. FTM Transgender! Lovino. Modern Day AU
1. Chapter 1

Isn't it funny? My grandfather always preached, that we were made perfect in the eyes of God... so why did I feel so... imperfect? Like, I wasn't made correctly. That the big guy in the sky accidentally fucked up while creating me. If that even makes sense. Maybe I was born the right way, maybe it's my personality that does this too me. Whatever it is, I feel like an accident. Something short of... imperfect.

Feliciano never feels this way, well, no one does. Anyone who's normal has never felt this way. Me? I'm not normal, I'm the weirdest girl you'll ever meet. Hell, that's what they all say. The kids at school, Feliciano, and our Nonno. Maybe, I wasn't born into the right body? My appearance isn't bad. It just doesn't match the way I feel inside. What if I stole this body from someone deserving? What if... I wasn't meant to be born? What if I stole someone's chance of life. I took someone's life, and replaced with my own disgusting one.

Maybe I should stop thinking like that. After all, I'm just running over pointless questions, that I'll never get an answer too. No point in that.

My name is Lovina Vargas, I'm 16 years old, and I'm in the wrong body. I don't know why I feel this way, and it's killing me. I desperately want answers. However, answers seem impossible to find. I'm a Junior at World Academy, an international school for kids from all over the world. I live in a dorm just on the edge of school campus, with Elizabeta, and Laura, my roommates. They're nice, but... they can be a bit judgmental.

I choose to live in the dorms, leaving Feliciano behind. I love _mi fratellino_, don't get me wrong, he just makes me realize how much of a piece of shit I am. Well, home does that too. It's not their fault, I just hate their perfect lives, and their perfect self-esteem.

I let out a long, dramatic sigh, as I gently put away the now clean dishes. Across the room, Elizabeta is playing Super Smash Bros. on the Wii U with Laura. This is a normal thing, I usually join them after I'm done with the damned dishes. I hated the dishes, but they were my duty.

"Lovi~" Elizabeta called from her game, not daring to take her eyes off the screen for one second, "You almost done? I need help in kicking Laura's ass!" She called excitedly. I swear her one goal in life is defeating the SSB Champion, Laura.

Laura wasn't that big into video games, yet, she almost always claimed victory in this game. The few times Eliza and I have actually beaten her, are quite memorable. Eliza hadn't let it go in weeks, that she played as Peach and somehow managed to cream Laura. "It's all about strategy" She said suavely, as if she'd won the world cup of Super Smash Bros. "And that ass, couldn't have done it without Peach's ass."

I shook my head, trying to bring myself back to reality. "Nah, not tonight. I'm going home to visit." I muttered, my voice had hints of slight annoyance. I wasn't too thrilled to be going back home. To be honest, I was only going for the money, today was pay day, and I sure as hell wasn't missing out on the money. And maybe Feliciano's cooking... maybe.

"Suit yourself," Laura chimed in. "Can you at least make us something before you leave?" She raised her head in my direction completely disregarding the intense battle on the television. "I don't feel like cooking, and I don't trust Eliza, after last time."

Elizabeta screeched with victory, as she watched Laura's character fly off screen. "In your face!" Eliza cheered. She got up, and did a small victory dance. Her happy dance was suddenly halter. The Hungarian woman narrowed her eyes at Laura, "What do you mean?"

Laura shrugged, "Do I have to remind you how long it took for us to scrape burnt goulash out of everything?" She reprimanded. Elizabeta made a squeaking noise in the back of throat. It was obvious the taller female remembered it, and well... wanted to forget her cooking misfortune. Elizabeta wasn't a bad chef, not in the slightest. However, there was one time, she forgot to check on her meal, and it caught fire. Figures.

Elizabeta folded her arms, "Fine, I'll just call Roderich over." she stated pulling her smartphone from her back pocket, and scrolled to her ex-boyfriend's number. She clicked on his name, and held the phone to her ear.

Laura stood up and leaned on Elizabeta's free shoulder. "Wow, I can't believe you two are still so close!" She chided, resting her head on Elizabeta's shoulder. "Of course, I'm not surprised!"

Elizabeta giggled, "Just because we had a nasty breakup, doesn't mean we should ruin a perfectly good relationship- Oh! Hello Roderich!" She chided into her phone. I could hear the muffled voice of Roderich in the background. "Will you come over and cook for us? Lovina is stepping out- Of course you could bring your new boyfriend! I'm dying to meet him!"

I decided they had this under control, even if it was bound to end in disaster, with that pianist around. Not too mention the asshole of his boyfriend. I've never actually met his new boyfriend, but he's probably an asshole to catch Roderich's eye. I've never liked Mr. Piano face anyways. Wait- Elizabeta was okay with Roderich having a boyfriend? She always struck me as someone who wasn't okay with gay relationships... Weird...

"Ciao, I'm out," I alerted the two, as I pulled my jacket on. I'm pretty sure they stopped listening a while ago. Like they'd care anyways. It was cold as hell, I noted as I stepped outside. Carefully shutting the door behind me. Our door was probably one of the loudest on campus. It makes this horrible squeaking noise, that makes you want to rip off your ears. No joke.

I looked around for someone. No people. Of course. It was late, and cold. America wasn't exactly the warmest place on earth... Oh how I missed those warm sunny days in Italy. No time to reminiscence on the past. I need to go 'home' before Feliciano starts blowing my phone up with his texts and calls of concern. Damn annoying_ fratello,_ being worried all the damn time. With a little shiver, I begin to pick up speed with longer strides, desperate to get into the warmth of a house.

* * *

"_Sorella!_" Feliciano screamed excitedly. The younger sibling ran over to me, and tackled me with a bear-hug. "I missed you! I never see you in school anymore! I thought you were avoiding me, but here you are now, come in!" he quickly rambled. "I made pasta! Well, I always make pasta, but this time I made your favorite! I know how much you love Tomato and Garlic pasta, I even used fresh tomatoes from Nonno's garden! Oh, I bet he'll be excited to see you! He's always loved his only granddaughter-"

I stopped listening. Granddaughter... For some reason, I felt uneasy when he referred to me as 'granddaughter. Or, even when Feliciano called me _'Sorella'_. I don't understand why. I don't feel like a girl, I've never felt like a girl. But, I'm not a guy, obviously. A guy in a girls body? It's unheard of. I'd be damned if they'd ever knew. They'd probably disown me for being so delusional. After all, no one wants an insane successor. If I was going to take over Nonno's wine business, I better be as normal as possible. No one would do business with the likes of me, if they ever knew how I felt, and I don't blame them.

"Hey, Lovina? You're scaring me! Why're you so quiet?" Feliciano's tone suddenly changed to one of concern. I smacked his waving hand, away from my face.

"I'm fine,_ idiota_. Don't ask such stupid questions!" I snapped at my younger brother. "Now get out of my way! It's freezing out here, and I'm hungry!" Feliciano made an 'Oh' shape with his mouth, suddenly understanding the situation. He grabbed my hand and made a pointless bee-line for the door. Once inside, he let go of my arm and skipped into the kitchen, leaving me to shut the door. I stood alone in the living room. It still felt the same, smelled the same, and looked the same.

The old, brown, couches remained unchanged, the one against the wall had a new hole on the side of it. I can only hope Nonno will replace those damned things. He has the money for it, what's stopping him? God knows what's going through that old coots head.

I headed to the kitchen only to see Feliciano humming and slightly swaying as he put the finishing touches on hit pasta. I fucking love Feliciano's cooking. It's so good. He has a dream of opening a restaurant. Which, I totally support. He's a cooking prodigy. When I was little, I used to be jealous of his talents. My cooking wasn't bad, per se, but Feliciano's is great. I learned that, it's better to enjoy his food, instead of envy it. Besides, I don't have to do anything to get good food, all I have to do is order him to cook it, and he will. It's like eating at a five star restaurant, only at home, and a lot more food, and free. Feliciano always made enough to feed an army, though the skinny Italian boy usually shovels it down with ease. Surprising all of us. Where does all of that pasta go? It's like he has a void for a stomach.

"Oi!" I called to Feliciano. He lifted his head in alarm, sending me a puzzled look, wondering why he was disturbed. "Where's Nonno?" I questioned. No way in hell was he getting away with not greeting me. The nerve of that bastard, I swear. Feliciano shrugged and went back to work. So much for that. I decided I'd go to my 'room' and find Nonno after dinner. Assuming he didn't show up, for dinner. His eating habits have always been sketchy. Sometimes missing meals, leaving Feli and I alone, and occasionally Romeo, our half brother who lives with his mother. The same woman who doesn't like Feliciano and I for some mysterious reason.

My hand trails along the semi-familiar wall. Third door on the right, I repeat to myself. It's this mantra that keeps me from straying off track. I'd be lost without it. Three doors down, and to the right, there's my room. My old sanctuary. The place I chose to lock myself in, and drown out the misery of the world. Though, it allowed a new misery to emerge, one that I can't get rid of, and that's thinking.

In that room, so many confusing, painful, thoughts have crossed my mind. Why am I here? Why don't I feel comfortable in my own body? What's wrong with me? Have I gone insane? Probably. I've always felt this way. I've always known something was wrong with me, that this body wasn't suited for me. Yet... I can't exactly place why. Is this the place I really want to be right now? Do I want to be reminded of the pain that's occurred in here? Hell no. So... Why am I going in here?

To my surprise, the door was already open. I pushed the white door open slightly, just enough to poke my head in. I could feel my eyes widen, there was Nonno, sitting on my bed, with face buried in his hands. He was obviously stressed, but over what? I slipped inside quietly, and walked over to the older man. His breathing was steady, showing he was either sleeping, or trying to calm himself with successful results. I debated on making my presence known to the old man.

"Oi, Nonno," I said loudly, "You going to greet me? Or are you planning on moping on my bed all night, like a creep?" I grumbled, folding my arms, I looked down on him.

He immediately raised his head, his face was painted with the expression of shock, he glanced at me. In a flash, he put on his signature smile, it was almost as if he wasn't wallowing in pity a few seconds prior.

"_Ciao_ Lovina! When did you get in here? You should have said something earlier, I would've greeted you at the door." I raised an eyebrow at his proposal. Couldn't he hear Feliciano talking a mile a minute, I could swear the neighbors could've heard Feliciano, he wasn't exactly the quietest... Shit, what's a good comparison. Well, whatever. Something was wrong with Nonno, now wasn't the time to make metaphorical comparisons.

"Yeah, yeah, more to add to the welcoming committee, great," I hope the sarcasm in that was easy to catch. I plopped down next to him, "The hell are you in here for?" I questioned.

He chuckled tiredly, "Ah it's nothing my little Lovi, I'm just glad you're here. I love having the company of my only granddaughter here. You wouldn't understand anyways, not at least for a few years." There is was again... That word. 'Granddaughter.' Why does it bug me to no ends? Screw that, more importantly, he's treating me like a kid again. Damn it all, I'm not a child. I was concerned for my Grandfather's well being, and he pushes me away? Screw that.

I groaned, "Damn it! Stop treating me like a kid! I asked you what the fuck was wrong, now tell me!" I snapped harshly. I could practically feel the mood in the room change dramatically, into one of displeasure. This happened every time I was here, and I was sick of it. I don't care if he's disappointed in me at this point. In fact, I want him to be. I wan't everyone to be disappointed. So, when they learn how I feel...how I think, it wouldn't be anything new. I want them to know, I wasn't meant to be here. But, fuck I can't open up to them, so I'll just do it in another way, anger.

Roma's face turned to a scowl, he obviously wasn't pleased with my choice of words. "Lovina Romano Vargas," He warned. Shit, he used my full name, "That's not how a young lady acts!" Those words... They stung. Did he just call me a young lady? Why did that feel so wrong? I took a step back in shock.

I opened my mouth to refute but, he beat me to the punch. His golden eyes softened, "I just want a moment of peace... Please don't ruin that for me?"

I glared at him, "Whatever you want," I mumbled with displeasure. I turned around and took a step forward. For some reason, I stopped, and turned to look at him one more time. He almost looked... pitiful. What has happened to the great and powerful Roma Antiqua? He looked so tired and worn, as if age had finally decided to catch up, and punch him square in the face. I felt... almost sad to see him like this. _Almost. "_Well I'm sorry I had to ruin everything for you," I hissed. I turned and headed towards the kitchen before I could see the after effect of my words. I try to be nice, and I get yelled at, great. That's fan fucking tastic. So much for being helpful, Lovi.

But what really hurt... was when he called me a young 'lady'. It just felt so wrong. Everything just feels so wrong. I'm not male! So, why does being female bug me so much? I've felt like this, almost my whole life. Yet, the feeling just keeps getting stronger and stronger. This isn't my body, no. This is someone else's. Someone who deserved it more then I did. I don't know who, but if I could give it back to them, that'd be great. The rightful owner deserves it back.

"Lovi! There you are! Pasta is ready!" the younger Italian called, from the archway leading into the kitchen. His smile never faltered, since I arrived. Is he even human? How can someone be this happy all the damn time.

"Whatever," I mumbled, pushing past him, taking a seat at the table. Conveniently, Feli already placed the table. I watched my younger brother leave to go fetch our Nonno. Great, I get to see more of his face. I still feel pissed, and insulted from the dispute a few minutes ago. I don't want to be near him right now.

This happens every month when I come over for dinner, I end up arguing with the old man, and saying some pretty dumb shit. But then we make up by the end of the day, and all is good, until next month. It's an endless cycle, like hell is it going to broken soon. Feliciano serves as the peace keeper, only when he's there to witness our dispute.

"Feliciano! I'm so proud of you, it smells great!" Roma's voice echoes through the kitchen. I pull my head down, I'd rather stare at the pasta anyways. I scooped a noodle covered in tomato sauce, with my fork and placed it into my mouth. The taste of tomato was prominent, just the way I liked them. I could feel all my troubles melt away with the heat of the pasta, and damn it, was it good. Feliciano always knew how to cook for comfort. That was one of his perks, I suppose.

The chair next to me screeched as it was pulled out, I stole a quick glance at the person who dared interrupt such tranquility, with their inconsiderable actions. Feliciano was only sitting down, when the other chair let out a horrendous shriek, signalling Nonno was sitting at the end of the table. Damn it, what's with these people and their damn annoying chairs? Those poor floors, being brutally mauled on a daily basis, by careless people who harshly set their chairs.

It was quiet for a few moments. Such peace was what I treasured. Noises were annoying anyways. Nonno was the first to speak, he awkwardly cleared his throat, and look at me. However, I was still staring at the plate of pasta as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Even if the pasta was almost gone, there was so much character in it. Like the slightly smooth sauce, it was bumpy, yes, yet it felt like silk on your tongue. Feliciano was a master at this, his food had a personality of it's own.

"So, Lovi, how's school?" he instigated.

I shrugged, "Fine, I suppose." Short, sweet, to the point. Maybe he'll get the memo, that I, do not wish to speak right now.

"I got a call from your English teacher," Fuck.

Stay calm. Feel calm. Be calm. You got this Lovina. "And?" I questioned as if it were nothing. I dreaded this. I knew the possibility was unlikely yet, here it was, happening right before our delicious pasta dinner. I knew my English teacher would tell him. I just knew it, that damn snitch.

"She said the personal assignment you turned in... It had some peculiar things in it." Fuck, fuck fuck fuck _fuckfuckfuck I've never been more screwed in my life._

"

What the hell are you getting at?" I hissed, screw pasta. I wasn't hungry anymore, I pushed the plate away from me, signalling I was done.

"Lovina... Are there things you're not telling us?"

"Lovina, please. I just want to help."

"... No."

"Lovi-"

I stood up. Fists balled, ready to attack whatever stood in my way. "Just shut up!" I screamed, "I can't tell you anything! You wouldn't understand, you'd never understand! You don't know how I fucking feel!" I turned to leave, but Feliciano's hand grabbed my wrist forcefully. I turned and watched in awe, as I saw such a serious glint in his eyes. It was as if something that lay dormant in him for years had finally surfaced.

"Sit down." He ordered, his tone deathly serious. I had no choice but to comply. Begrudgingly, I resumed my position in the chair, shooting the two other people in the room a glare. Oh, but Feliciano wasn't done, "Now, Lovina, you're going to tell us _exactly_ what you're talking about," He hissed, his voice practically dripping with venom. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified.

I glanced at Feliciano, then Nonno. I can't... They'll think of me differently... They'll think I'm a freak, they won't understand. "I-I cant!"

"Yes, you can. And you will," Feliciano warned, his grip on my wrist only tightened. I gulped.

"You'll judge me! You'll treat me like differently! I can't have that Feliciano... I just can't..."

Roma gripped my shoulder, offering support, "Lovino, we'd never treat you differently... Now tell us, what's wrong." I stared him in the eyes. His golden eyes were kind, inviting, and concerned. I wanted to give in and tell every secret I've ever held close to my heart... Maybe they'd understand?

"... I-I... I'm a mistake... I'm imperfect..." Tears began to roll down my face, "I think.. God made a mistake-"

"God never makes mistakes Lovina." Roma corrected,

"Damn it! Listen to me! He did! I'm in the wrong body! Can't you see that!?" I yelled, as tears continued to fall. "A-and it hurts every time you call me a lady, or sister, or just anything feminine!" Feliciano's grip loosened, "I don't think I'm a female... I think... I-I think I'm a man in a female's body," In that moment, I realized... I wasn't confessing to them, I was confessing to myself. I was opening a door, an answer to the never ending problem, I call my life. "A-And, no one even understands!"

Feliciano retracted his arm, he was no longer looking at me, "Is that how you feel?" He asked quietly, not even looking at me.

I nodded my head, and gave a soft, 'Mhm', as confirmation.

"... I don't have a sister named Lovina... You were never a sister to me-"

I had heard enough. My greatest nightmare was coming true. I stood up, and bolted out the door. Ignoring my _Nonno's_ calls to return, I ran. It was eight o'clock, and dark as hell. However, I didn't care. I just ran. It's the only thing I've been good at, running. I ran from all my problems, every single one of them, and here I am, reciting the age old action, avoiding conflict. It was cold, it was windy, and it began to sprinkle. Not a single fuck was given... I was too busy blindly bolting through the dark streets.

In my blind sorrow, I darted right into a man, we both hit the ground with a painful thud. I couldn't get up, what was the point of getting up? I just wanted to lay there and die. Pained sobs wracked my body. I was done. I couldn't do this anymore.

"Ay, that hurt..." The man muttered, "Are you okay- You're crying! Did the fall hurt you!?" The stranger rushed over to my side, he held out his hand, offering to pull me up, but I ignored it. He was interfering with my plan of lying here and dying. I was in too much emotional pain to do anything. "_Signorita,_ please, let me help you." He held out his hand one more time. He made it very clear, that I had no choice but to comply. I'll let him help me out, for now. But when I'm home, I'll drown in my own sorrows.

Gently, he lifted my off the ground, and onto my feet. He gently wiped away my tears, allowing my vision to return, from it's previous distortion due to crying. The man who kindly helped me out, was tan, had chocolate curly hair that seemed stylish, yet unruly. He was quite tall, maybe around 5'12", and had a sturdy build. But the most stunning factor about this man, was his eyes. They were green, _Very green. _He blinked and pulled my arm around his shoulder.

"I'll walk you home," He demanded, I blinked at him quizzically. Why is a stranger taking me home? Do I want to him to know where I live? Not really. I was about to break away when he explained that "It's too dark, and you're in no shape to go by yourself," I nodded understandingly. Just moments before, I didn't have enough will-power to pry myself off the side-walk. Why am I even letting him help me?

On the way back, he tried to make small talk, at first, he asked me what was wrong. After learning he wasn't going to get an answer. He began to talk about himself, and amusing stories about him and his friends. His name was Antonio Fernandéz Carriedo. He's 18, a senior from World Academy (A coincidence). He's from Spain, he moved here a few weeks ago to be with his current partner. He has two friends, which remained nameless. However, when they both lived in Spain with him, they were known as the Bad Touch Trio, which I assumed was because everywhere they went, something tragic had to have happened. He explained that they were master pranksters, only supporting my theory. He was in the middle of one of his wild stories, when I whimpered and pointed at a building across the street. It was the World Academy dormitory for females.

"You go to World Academy too?!" he exclaimed, a little too excited. I only nodded my head, in response. I was too emotionally drained to even speak. "Well, I hope I'll see you then! Monday is my first day! And then I work after school Monday through Thursday, if you need help you should drop by." He works? With what? I was about to ask when he stopped in front of the building. "Do you need me to take you to your room, or shall I depart here?" He asked.

I pulled my arm away from him. I shook my head, "N-no. It's fine. I'll go from here..." I wasn't keen on letting this stranger know my dorm number. Hell, I don't even let Feliciano know. Feliciano... The thought of him made me want to-

"So you speak?" Antonio said playfully, drawing me out of my thoughts. I gave a sad smile, as I nodded my head.

"...Si, I do speak... G-Grazie, but I can take care of myself from here." I was desperate to get inside. I wanted to be alone. I _needed _to be alone.

"Alright, _Buenas Noches Signorita, _I'll see you around..."

".._.Lovino_." I muttered.

He smiled, "Alright Lovino! I'll see you around! Feel better! I hope we run into each other again!"

I nodded, and turned to enter my dorm. Thank god, it was on the bottom floor, I had no energy to go up stairs. I stumbled into the door, hitting it rather hard. I was sure Elizabeta and Laura were alerted of my presence. But I didn't care. Carelessly I throw open the door, the door made a loud screeching noise. Normally this would bug me, but I was too deep in my sorrow to care. I slammed the door shut, and made a sloppy beeline for my room. I ignored Elizabeta's and Laura's concerned looks. They don't matter right now. Nothing matters. I was just, disowned by my only family. The one who I thought would support me. I practically threw myself in my room, and slammed the door shut. I didn't even make it 5 feet in, before I broke down into violent sobs.

God damn it, why was I so weak? I couldn't even help myself, a damn stranger had to take that job, and pick up the pieces. When he didn't even know me. Then again, if he knew the true abomination I was, he'd probably despise me too. They all would. Feliciano's words echoed through my mind. I was never his sister- How could he? I never thought he'd be so shallow to just disown me like that. Didn't he know how much it hurts? Don't they know, the pain of being irrelevant? Of course not. I was alone in this endeavor.

I crawled into my bed. I buried myself in the red comforter, trying to hide from everything. I was done. So done.

Concerned knocks echoed through the room. Please of entrance were heard, yet none were answered. Eventually, they gave up. That's okay, because I gave up too. It's only fitting for others to give up when you have.

Replaying today's events in my head, over and over, served to be a painful reminder. Though, near the end, the kindness that was presented by the stranger was all I needed to feel at least a little reassured. Only a little. The handsome stranger who showed me kindness in my darkest hour, when everyone else turned away... Antonio was his name, right? And when he asked my name, I replied with Lovino... Why did I?

In that moment, I realized why. It's a male name, that fits me perfectly. Lovino means 'To Ruin,'. That's all I've been doing. I tore my family apart, I've ruined a strangers evening with my selfish acts.

Maybe I'll start going by Lovino.

More importantly, maybe I'll run into Antonio again... Maybe he'd understand. The pain I'm feeling, he seemed to care, to understand, even if I never told him what had happened. Maybe, he'd understand, that I. Lovino Vargas, is a male trapped inside a female's body.

* * *

**AGH, I'M DONE. I thought It'd never end. The writing.  
Okay, the ending is kinda sloppily written, because I got lazy. Therefore, I apologize.  
Yes, it's Spamano, yes, Toni has a current partner in this..._ not for long._**  
**I was thinking about making this a three-shot. Might be longer.**

I AM NOT TRANSGENDER, THEREFORE IF I CONVEYED GENDER DYSPHORIA WRONG OR... WELL ANYTHING WRONG, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Any tips on writing would be great. I need them tips, so lay em' on me.

Alright, Buona Notte.

* * *

_Translations:_

_Fratellino: Little Brother (It.)  
__Fratello: Brother (It.)  
__Sorella: Sister (it.)  
__Ciao: Hello/Goodbye (It.)  
_Idiota: Idiot (It.)  
_Nonno: Grandfather (It.)  
__Signorita: Miss/Mrs/Ms. (Sp/It.)  
Buenas Noches: Good Night.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

The smell of rain had long filled the room. The window had been slightly opened ajar, to let the crisp smell in. The cold breeze slightly chilled the occupant of the room. Causing them to weakly pull the covers of their bed, over their whole body.

The young Italian had been in this very room, laying in that very position, for the past three days. Not once had he emerged to attend to any important needs, except for the rare bathroom break. His stomach growled viciously from hunger, his chest length hair was tangled, matted, and dirty, and his sleeping habits have been sketchy, allowing dark smudges to form under his eyes. And… Was that a zit he could feel, poking at his forehead? Whatever, he didn't care.

But the hardest pain, was in his chest. It ached for acceptance. Not once had he ever felt so…. Isolated, so alone, he hated the way he felt before. He felt wrong. Now, he feels absolutely disgusting. He felt broken. As if the only single shred of hope, was torn away violently.

And the worst thing, his very own brother was what made him feel this way. His Grandfather, he could have lived with. Roma always loved Feliciano more anyways, Lovino was too much for him too handle. He could have sworn he only kept him around because he was his only 'granddaughter'. That damn bastard, he could not care less anyways.

However, his brother. Though Lovino had an inferior complex to the younger of the two. He's always admired Feliciano, from the way he cooks, to the way he paints, to the way he's a social butterfly, capturing the hearts of everyone who even looked his way. Then there's Lovino. The loudmouthed elder sibling who was nothing but trouble.

Well… Now he's out of their life. Lovino silently wished the best for them, now that he's gone.

The front door let out it's horrendous shrill, filling Lovino's ears with that dreadful noise. He assumed that Elizabeta and Laura were home from school. Whoop-di-doo. He silently prayed to the traitorous God, that they'd leave him alone. It didn't necessarily bug him, that they cared, it just bugged him that they were so persistent and loud about it. A few seconds passed, and hushed whispers could be heard. He assumed they were plotting against him, after all, he hadn't eaten in three days.

Hell, he could be dead for all they knew. He only made his brief escapes when they were at school. His solitude was preferable, as he didn't want to see anyone. If it was up to him, he'd rot right there, in his gainingly uncomfortable bed. The sheets felt stiff, stale, and smelled weird. His covers became scratchy. This was the result of the Italian laying there for hours at a time. Not moving.

A soft knock sounded throughout the room, causing Lovino's head to pound along with it. "Lovina?" A small female voice called. Elizabeta stood on the other side of the door, holding it gently, as the albino picked the lock. "You're scaring us dear." She muttered, "I have Gilbert picking the lock right now. We just want to help... Come out, please?"

Lovino tried to release a low growl at them, he wanted to tell them to go away. However, he was so weak. His throat burned, his head pounded, hell, even his vision was blurry. There was no way he could deal with them right now.

Two clicks echoed from the knob, and the door swung open. Lovino weakly pulled the covers even more over himself. Slowly, the warmth of the blanket was stolen from him. He glanced up with his blood-shot eyes, watching Elizabeta warily. Her expression was soft, yet worried. Eliza gently placed her hand over Lovino's forehead, and frowned.

Her olive green eyes flickered with something foreign. "You don't have a fever..." She whispered to herself. The Hungarian shook her head, "What happened to you Lovina?" She moved her hand the back of Lovino's head, and lifted the frail body into a sitting position. Lovino's eyes trailed to Gilbert, who was awkwardly standing in the doorway, adjust something under his shirt, an undershirt probably. Elizabeta waved him over, "Gil, what do you think? Should we take her to the clinic or the hospital?"

"Clinic," Gilbert confirmed, "However, if she's as bad as you said, I'll have her transferred to the hospital." Lovino's eyes widened, no way in hell was he going to the hospital. People _died _there. That's always scared him. Not the prospect of death, but the idea that he'd share the same death literal death bed as a former patient. Gilbert took a few cautious steps forward, into the Italian's room. In the past, Gilbert had been cussed out horribly by the young man. Wanting to avoid that situation, Gilbert found himself taking baby steps. "Damn, what do you think happened?" He muttered, his Violet eyes scanned Lovino's weak frame, "It's like she isn't even there." He muttered silently.

Elizabeta hugged the Italian's weak frame. Her hand gently caressed the young man's back. "I don't know, but it's bad." With her free hand, the Hungarian gestured to the self-proclaimed-Prussian's phone. "Call Francis or Toni and tell them we're bringing her in." Her arm then snaked around Lovino, trying to lift the petite Italian. The Hungarian woman lifted Lovino bridal style, with ease. She hugged the young 'woman' close to her chest. "Gilbert dear," She chimed solemnly, "Will you open the door? I'll carry her there."

Gilbert turned his heel towards the door, muttering curses towards the Brunette for making him seem so useless.

* * *

In the florescent light, a young man worked swiftly. His tan, slim, fingers skimming each page, as he furiously wrote down the solution to the problems he faced. It was as if nothing mattered, but the paper he was so intently focused on. He ground his teeth furiously, in the midst of his concentration. Nothing could keep the paper and him apart.

That is...

Until Francis burst his bubble with the frantic, _yet composed, _demand to drop everything he was doing, to help ready a room for a new-coming patient.

Antonio swore under his breath as he dropped the pencil, and stood up from the small reception desk. He knew what to do, in this situation. He had experienced the situation himself.

To be honest, he had only caught the gist of Francis' quickly laid out demands. A teenage girl, depressed, and hadn't eaten in almost 72 hours. He didn't catch her name, but at the moment that didn't matter. He wanted to be done with this patient, to go home, er well his dorm. He was only scheduled to be there two hours after school, and the second hour was drawing near. He didn't see the reason to stay and keep up with the girl's drama.

'_Probably a silly break-up or something. Francis can take care of that.' _the Spaniard thought to himself. It was an awful habit; _Assuming _people's problems.

He walked towards to a vacant cubicle, and quickly pulled back the curtain that separated privacy, and public. He pulled a pillow out from under the transportable bedding, and haphazardly tossed it onto the uncomfortable bedding.

In some melodramatic sense, this was Antonio's way of life. Go to school, go to the clinic, go home, sleep, repeat. Of course with a few meal breaks in between.

Hell, he didn't even want to be here. Volunteering was Gilbert's idea. Ever since Gil discovered who he was, he decided to dedicate his life helping those. And by that, he meant drag Antonio and Francis along with him to deal with sick or over-dramatic people. Yes, he used the term over-dramatic often. One patient, Arthur, often came in claiming he had some sort of illness or another. Truthfully, no matter how hard Antonio tried, he couldn't find anything wrong with Arthur. He even sent the British man to the actual hospital at one point, and came back with a clean bill of health. The truth is, it was all in his head. Antonio was convinced he had some sort of Hypochondria. Oh well.

But, the most agonizing thing about working here, was the therapy sessions he held. There was _nothing_ worse then sitting there for hours, while people spilled their life stories and problems to him. It was getting kind of boring. He had heard it all. From 'My mother abandoned me at a young age' to 'My boyfriend just broke up with me.' and then there was one particular man, who was sexually attracted to a refrigerator. Strange people.

He glanced over his shoulder, at Francis who was quickly filling out paperwork for the incoming patient. He kept glancing at the computer monitor for the person's information. It's kind of scary how we have full authority to your basic personal information, tell us your name and we can pull it up out of that database. No one is safe from the clinical volunteers, we know exactly when and where you got that embarrassing rash. In Antonio's opinion, they should be feared.

"Toni," Francis called from the desk he was sitting at, "Arthur is back, so I have to deal with him." he informed, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his tone. "I'm leaving it up to you and Gilbert to help her. I don't know if you met her, but she's a feisty person, I wish you luck."

The Spaniard tilted his head slightly, about to refute the Frenchman, when suddenly the little chime over the door rang. The Spaniard spun around only to meet the eyes of Gilbert who was holding the door open for a soaking wet Hungarian woman who was holding- Wait... Is that Lovino?

Lovino's hair clung to her sickly pale skin. Her closed eyes rested in dark pits. She looked... Awful. Much worse then the other day when Antonio walked her home. She looked like a living corpse. When he saw her all those nights ago, she looked miserable, and done. However, he had no idea it would turn to this.

"Right over here," he directed gesturing towards the open cubicle. Elizabeta hummed in understanding as she carried the young woman over. Lovino was placed gently on the bed. In a motherly way, the light brunette lifted Lovino's top half, and positioned the pillow under the Italian's head.

"Honestly Antonio," Elizabeta began, "You could have at least placed the pillow _near_ the top portion of the bed. Not in the middle." Antonio only gave a slight shrug in response. He didn't want to pick a fight with Elizabeta. He was determined to stay on her good side, after all, he _was_ dating her ex boyfriend. It was a miracle that Elizabeta even spoke to him.

The self proclaimed Prussian walked towards the three of them, with towels in hand. He literally threw one at Eliza, earning a small squeak from her as it hit her square in the face. His strange laughs were silenced when Eliza shot him one of her signature death glares. "Geez, was a joke," he mumbled. He glanced at Lovino, "So... who wants to do the honors of changing Mrs. Vargas into the fashionable hospital gown?" His gaze pointed at the Hungarian.

Eliza sighed, "Honestly Gilbert, you're going to need to learn to get over your damn awkwardness." she mumbled, "Besides, you should be fine, after all you're bi-"

"BLAHBLAHBLAHICAN'THEARYOU-" Gil's obnoxious voice rang. He dramatically slapped his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out Eliza, before she could finish the sentence. Antonio winced, at the desperation in Gilbert's voice. It was obvious he didn't want to be reminded of _that_.

"Sorry Gilbert," She sincerely apologized, "I forgot. I'll change her, it shouldn't be a problem, after all I live with her."

"Danke," Gil's composition altered to a cheesy one. He shot her a thumbs up, knowing he had won. "They're on the bottom rack of the bed, next to the pillows, can't miss them."

Elizabeta angrily stomped into the cubicle, closing the curtains behind her.

The room went silent after that, albeit the occasional ruffling of fabric. It was almost symbolic, Antonio noted. As Elizabeta closed the curtain, it was almost as if she took the action with her. Leaving them in an agonizing silence. And Antonio _hates_ silence.

He hated the way it felt so suffocating. And the way it took all the life out of everything. He needed something to break it, or else he'll go mad.

"So," Antonio began, a little too excitedly. "What happened to Lovino?" He asked. A part of him didn't care, it just wanted the silence to stop. But, another tiny fraction of the man, was genuinely curious as to what happened to the Italian woman.

"Lovi...no?" Gilbert repeated the name, as if he was testing it out on his tongue. "Sounds like a guy's name. Her name is Lovina,"

What? That couldn't be possible, Antonio remembered specifically hearing a 'No' at the end of her name. Unless, she lied to him. Which would be unlikely, since it was so similar to her supposed real name.

Antonio shook his head, "No, she said Lovino." in fact, he remembered the exact way the name rolled off her tongue. How each and every letter was pronounced. Call him crazy, but Antonio was obsessed with sound. The way noise affected things, fascinated him. One moment a person could be belligerent, but the next calm, all due to a simple variation of tones. Or, how a mother's tone can make or break a child's aspirations. It was a pure mystery, but it carried his interests nonetheless.

Elizabeta pulled the curtains open, her steps were quiet and careful, "She's asleep, so be quiet." She paused for a moment, taking the time to scan the two males in the room, "Lovino sounds like a man's name, this is Lovi_na_." She glanced at Gilbert for a fraction of a second, contemplating a strange idea.

Gilbert seemed to catch on to her thought, and looked down, "Nah," his arms folded tightly around his chest, as if he was concealing something.

The Spaniard blinked. He honestly had no idea what was going on, and he was too afraid to even ask. The tone is the room darkened dramatically. If it wasn't for Francis' dramatic entrance, everything would've went to hell.

Cerulean eyes scanned the room. In a flash a tall, French, male was by Antonio in seconds. "I see they brought her finally," the thickly accented words came. "I was starting to get worried. So let's start the checkup..." Elizabeta shook her head, and mouthed a 'No'. He furrowed his brow.

"Sorry Franny, she's asleep. We'll have to wait until she wakes up." The Prussian muttered to himself.

Francis clicked his tongue, as he returned to the spot behind his desk. "I see," He swung his feet onto the white surface and sighed, "Then we shall wait." He paused, "After all... I am a bit worried myself."

They all nodded in agreement.

* * *

**First of all, sorry for the wait. I was too busy procrastinating to actually write this. Can't believe it took me a whole two weeks to write such a short chapter. This is a filler chapter btw. It gets better. **

**Secondly, sorry if this chapter sucks. I'm too lazy to go over any possibly errors, or incorrect grammar. Like, way toooo lazy. **

**Well, I'll try to update soon with an adequate length. **

**This one was really confusing because I tried to use male pronouns for Lovino. But then I'd get confused when I was writing with anybody else, because they don't know that he's Trans. So, I kept mixing up male and female pronouns. I think I got those sorted. Think.**

**Well, until next time. Ciao. **

_**I just realized I wrote it in 3rd person, woah. **_


	3. Chapter 3

Feliciano hummed morbidly as he hung laundry on the line, for the fifth time today. Ever since Lovino left their lives for good, chores had been piling on the younger Italian. Only proving Lovina was a valuable part of their household, even if she lived on campus. He'd never admit it, but he missed his precious Sorella... Or Fratello.

In fact, he hadn't seen her- him, in the halls since that night. Weird. Feliciano made a mental note to ask Ludwig later, since he and Lovina shared multiple classes. They always had such a harsh relationship; Lovina randomly lashing out at Luddie, calling him a 'Potato fuckwad' on multiple occasion. Feliciano never understood the problem she had with Ludwig. However, over the years, he's noticed a small, spark of respect for the tall blonde man. It amazed him, even if it was a singular shred.

"Feliciano," A deep voice called from the back door. Feliciano whipped around, expecting to meet his Grandfather, but was met with the deep blue eyes of his German friend. Ludwig shook his head in a dismissing manner, "Sorry I couldn't call ahead of time, Gilbert said it was too important to discuss over the phone anyways," He explained himself. Feliciano nodded his head.

Feliciano felt confused. Never had Ludwig deemed something so important that he'd forget to call ahead. And never had Ludwig listen to his brother's advice. It was weird, and frankly, Feliciano wasn't getting the best vibes from this situation. "Alright, let's go inside, si?" he replied, discarding the green basket onto the grass, completely forgetting about it, then trailed behind Ludwig into the particularly large household.

Ludwig awkwardly placed himself near the door, as if he was ready to escape at any moment. This only made Feliciano feel worse.

"So..." Ludwig began, his back straightened, as he regained his composed form. "I have to ask a few questions, on behalf of the World Academy clinic," He stated. Feliciano titled his head in pure confusion. World Academy clinic? Why would they need his information? He hasn't been to the clinic since he accidentally swallowed an eraser, but that was the second day of school, long ago. "It's about Lovina Vargas, I've already talked to your Grandfather. Now I just need your input, so please, be honest with me."

His breath hitched, "Lovina? What about Lovina?"

"I was meaning to ask earlier. I haven't seen her in class for a few days. Just a few hours ago, she was checked in the clinic, she wasn't in a good condition," He said, carefully studying Feliciano's face for any reaction, "It's not life threatening," He quickly added in order to dismiss any confusion, "But she won't talk, they're trying everything down there to help, but it's hard."

Feliciano folded his arms, "Why should I care?" he replied with a stern look. It caught Ludwig off guard. He certainly expected the auburn to start crying or demand to see her. Maybe this was connected?

"Because, she's your sister. And, this is very important to Gilbert. He'll go through hell and back to help your sister, I want to avoid any unnecessary movements on his part."

The Italian sighed, "Fine, we had a... a situation," he began, "when she came over a few days ago, she was acting weird, and then she said the most ridiculous thing ever! She said she was a boy! I mean, it's weird! How can you be a boy in a girl's body? It's not right!" Ludwig's eyes widened. That was it? He internally groaned, he was drawing a conclusion, and it wasn't exactly one he wanted.

"Feliciano," he said slowly, "What exactly is so weird about that?"

"Well, Nonno always taught us that god doesn't make mistakes. So you can't be born in the wrong body... And I don't think it's right."

Ludwig shook his head, if he was right, then, he'd understand why Lovina did what she did, "Feliciano, have you ever heard of Transgender?"

The Italian shook his head,

"It's when you identify as the opposite of your sex. Example, a biological male identifying as female, or a biological female identifying as male." Ludwig explained, "It's far more common then you think."

Feliciano made a face of disgust, "I don't like how that sounds, they're probably awful people. Why would you want to be a different gender?"

"You don't. It's not a choice, sometime it just happens, and it's an awful experience." Ludwig looked down, "I should know, I watched Gilbert go through the transition myself," he paused, not daring to look up at his companion. "Even our own Vatti didn't want him,"

Golden eyes scanned the German diagonal from him, "You mean...?"

Ludwig took a deep breath, he was about to tell Feliciano, the boy who doesn't approve of transgender people. Gilbert's darkest secret, that only a handful of people know. He didn't know why he wanted to tell Feliciano, maybe it was because Feliciano was a good listener, and he wanted to let it off his chest. Or maybe it was because Feliciano and Gilbert are surprisingly good friends. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that Feliciano had an admiration to the German brothers. Maybe Ludwig could help Feliciano realize, the world isn't black and white. There's more color then he could possibly imagine.

"Ja, Gilbert was born a female."

OnO

**_**INTENSELY APOLOGIZES FOR THE WAIT, AND THE SUPER SHORT CHAPTER**_**

**Yeah, I'll post more tomorrow. Oopsies. Thank you to the people who reviewed, favorited, and followed my story on my hiatus.  
It's been what... two months since I posted? Again Oopsies.**

**I also apologize, I didn't proof read, I only quickly skimmed over with spell check, so there's gonna be some errors, here and there, and everywhere.**


	4. Chapter 4

Feliciano's eyes widened, was Ludwig serious? He couldn't be! Gilbert was a man! Well... now that he thought about it... When he was tired, he sounded almost female, he always wears baggy clothing, and he had a feminine brow and nose. Was it true? It couldn't be. Gilbert seemed so normal...

The German stood up, and cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, I had to get that off my chest... How immature of me." He turned to door, "Oh, and please don't tell anyone, he wants a normal life," He said, his hand trailing the cold gold door-knob, his gaze dropped, not daring to look at the Italian. "I just want to let you know, they're like us, they're not broken... If you truly love Lovina, then you'll have to understand, this is who_ he_ is... No matter what you say, or do, you can't change that."

Tears welled in Feliciano's eyes. Everyone was against him, even his own Nonno. Romulus, a highly religious man, who forced them too pray every night, go to midnight mass on Christmas, and confess monthly; was more accepting of Lovina. It just wasn't fair. Why was he the bad guy for having such an opinion? Now Ludwig, the man he adores oh so much, was against him on this. Feliciano sunk further into the couch, as he walked Ludwig walk out and gently shut the door behind him.

Feliciano gasped for air, he still thought it was weird. He still thought it was strange. It would take time for Feliciano to fully accept the idea, but for now. He could push it too the back of his head, he could ignore it, he could carry on his day without even thinking about it. It was unhealthy thinking, but Feliciano wanted it this way. He didn't mind his obliviousness, he just wanted to be happy, and enjoy his lifetime, without so many complicated, strange problems. So with that, he stood up, regained his cheery composer, and went into the kitchen to boil water for pasta.

* * *

Lovino sat in the stiff white bed, curled up into a ball. Her tiny form sent intense, tired glares to Gilbert as he tried to ask Lovino what had happened to her. Of course, it wasn't working, the older Italian didn't mutter a single word. He occasionally flipped the bird in Gilbert or Elizabeta's direction. It was their fault he was here. In fact, he was perfectly fine dying in bed. But no... They had to be good Samaritans and help him out.

"Lovina, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong," Elizabeta said gently, stroking the young man's chest length hair. "We just want to help, please tell us whats wrong?" The Hungarian's voice was calm, yet held a pinch of concern. If Lovina choose to keep silent, she might just drown in her own despair. Contrary to belief, Elizabeta thought of Lovina as a little sister who needed protection, despite Lovi being a few months older. All she wanted to do was protect her from any harm, and by god, she will do that.

"Ja," Gilbert agreed, folding his arms, "You're making it difficult." He looked to the door for the 70th time, "I had Luddy go over to your house and ask questions- It's completely legal I swear, I have the paperwork in the nurses office, so don't throw a hissy fit over that. So, you can talk now, or I can have mein awesome bruder tell me everything he can and we can go from there."

Lovino's eyes widened, how _dare_ those fuckers go into _his _home, just to pry information. They had no right- His thought was cut short as a particular muscular young man walked though the glass door. His eyes immediately connected to Lovino's. His face was expressionless, yet his eyes held a different story, they twinkled with in a knowing sense, as if too say, "I know you're darkest secrets," and this, scared Lovina.

There's no way Ludwig would to that. No. Way. He's too good of a guy. Lovina couldn't risk being found out. Feliciano already outed her from their family. He couldn't imagine the reaction of his friends, and... well that one guy with the curly brown hair who's been sitting in the corner taking notes of god-knows-what, would be. They'd hate him, they'd berate him, they'd make him an outcast, a social pariah. Lovino didn't know if he could handle any more rejection. Really, he locked himself in his room for three days, having a mental-breakdown, because of his own Fratello. These were the only people left, the only ones who cared. He couldn't lose them. No way.

Gilbert's eyes lit up as he caught sight of Ludwig, the Albino man abandoned Lovino's side and ran to his brother. "Luddy, tell me everything," He pleaded, "She refuses to speak, I can't figure her out."

Ludwig's eye's were still trained on Lovino, suddenly, they were filled with sympathy. He shook his head, "Gilbert, give the poor boy a break," Lovino's breath hitched. Did... Ludwig just call him a 'boy?' Gilbert, glanced at Lovino, his expression unreadable. In a mere second, his mouth made an 'O' shape, as if he was understanding what was going on. "Gilbert, Francis, Antonio, Elizabeta, can I have a word with you, _alone." _He gestured towards the now empty nurses office. All three nodded and headed in there, leaving Lovino alone. He clutched his shirt, and shivered. Alone.

Noting how all three were gone, Lovino made a split second decision. There was no way he could handle their disappointing and disgusted gazes. Ludwig knew, the gig was up. He had to get out, and get out _now. _It was a cowardly thing too do, but one could always argue that Lovino had always been a coward. It was just who he was, and there was no changing that.

He placed his feet on the ground, and took in a shaky breath. He felt dizzy, nauseous, and his vision was a tad fuzzy, but that wasn't stopping him. He pushed himself off the bed, and took a few wobbly steps towards the door. His breathing grew heavier, he was exhausted, and ready to collapse. But he was also determined, and once he had his mind set on something, he was going to do it. Finally, he made it too the door, and gently pushed it open, careful that it wouldn't make any noises to alert the others. With that, he was off, into the downpour.

* * *

He didn't know how, but he ended up in a small cafe just outside of the campus. He ignored the glances people were throwing at him, he must've looked like shit. After all, he's still wearing the same clothes he was three days ago, not too mention he hadn't showered, or brushed his hair. But he didn't care. He just wanted to be alone, away from those who would outcast him. So here he was, in a booth for two, head flat against the table, and fighting the urge too throw up.

He wondered what they'd do when they discovered he was gone. Probably nothing. They'll probably be glad that an abomination such as him was out of their lives. Which means he can't return to his dorm tonight, so he'll have to find a place to sleep-

"There you are," a soft voice said, by her. A hand found it's way onto her shoulder, gently nudging it in a comforting matter. "We were so worried, how did you get here?"

Lovino raised his head slightly, only enough to catch sight of who was talking to her. _Fuck, _she internally swore, _I've been found. _Saying he wanted to disappear was an understatement to say the least. He wanted to die, here and now. He didn't want to face anyone. "Who the hell are you?" he croaked weakly, his dry throat said in a scratchy manner.

The stranger/clinic volunteer took a seat across from her, and leaned across the table, "Ant-"

"No wait, don't answer that, you're Antonio." He mumbled, in a harsh manner.

Antonio tilted his head, "You remember, aw Gracias, you're too kind!"

Lovino let his head hit the table with a thud once more, much to his headache's dismay. This also caused the older man too jump to his aid.

"Are you okay? I should take you back, it's too dangerous for you too be out here! You've got a 100.2 fever!" Antonio nudged Lovino's shoulders, trying to get him too move. However, he didn't budge so Antonio gave up, and leaned back in his chair. "I'll be right back," he declared, "Don't run off,"

Lovino didn't hear him, he was too busy emotionally preparing himself. And well, trying to ignore the aching he had... well everywhere. Heart included. He felt so disgusting and unloved, who could ever love him? He wasn't normal, he was an abomination for crying out loud! Not even his own flesh and blood wanted him, it was pitiful.

Just then, he heard a plop, and the rustling of paper. Glancing up, he saw Antonio take a seat, drink in hand, but more importantly he noted the cup in front of him, and the chocolate covered Biscotti. "I hope you don't mind, but you're soaked to the bone, I thought you'd need something to warm you up, like hot chocolate, and of course, I hope you like chocolate covered Biscotti. You need food, especially something sugary, we can get you some Gatorade later." He explained in a gentle voice, careful not too provoke or cause pain too Lovino's now pounding head.

The younger man took a careful sip of the hot chocolate, it stung his tongue but he didn't care. The warm liquid soothed his dry, pained, sore throat. He gave an appreciative hum to the other man. He'd never admit it, but... He felt secure around him. Like nothing could ever hurt him, which was weird, he'd only met Antonio twice, and he shouldn't be thinking these things.

"So... Lovino, Ludwig told me about your... problem." Antonio began, watching the younger Italian tense up, "And, I think it's okay, that you're a male in a female's body." Relief flooded Antonio as Lovino relaxed a tad bit, not a lot, but a little, "It wasn't your choice, and it's perfectly fine. I just, want to let you know so you don't beat yourself up over it."

Lovino slowly nodded his head, why was Antonio being so nice? So... he didn't want to say understanding, but that's close enough.

"In fact," He continued, "A... close friend of mine has that same problem, it's been hard for him... I remember, he'd lock himself in his room for days on end. He'd drink to deal with Gender Dysphoria, and he'd have constant anxiety attacks." Antonio's brow furrowed, "I know how hard it is... But it's not the end of the world. You don't have too hide from us, no one there will hate you." Lovino felt tears prick his hazel eyes. "Don't think no one cares Lovino... We do, even I do. Even though I just met you two days ago."

Lovino nodded his head, he silently thanked Antonio. He needed this pick-me-up desperately. He couldn't think of any way too repay the Spaniard for this. Who knew there were such caring people in this world?

Antonio stood up and held out his hand, "Won't you let us help you? Por _favor?" _The smile on his face was sincere and warm. Lovino couldn't resist but too grab his hand, and be pulled up. "I'm glad, now let's get you back."

* * *

**I s2g I keep forgetting where the line thingies are. Or they keep hiding them from me. Who knows?**

_**Okay, feelsy part over, (Or is it? :3) Again, frickity frackin sorry for the short chapter. I just quickly wrote it in under 3 hours, while... multitasking heavily. Can't help that I keep getting G+ notifications.**_

_**So, does this count as fluff? Psh, I dunno. What even are that?**_

_**Alrighty, I'll update soon. The plot only picks up from here, so bare with me here.**_

_**Also, did anyone even catch my little tidbits of hints at Gilbert being Transgender M/F? No? Okay.**_

_**(I said I'd update within a day, diddly darn you're right I did.)**_

* * *

Translations:

Ja - Yeah (Gr.)  
Mein Bruder - My brother (Gr.)  
Gracias - Thank you (Sp.)  
Por Favor - Please (Sp.)

_Note: I don't speak any of these languages, so if I have used them wrong, please, **please**, correct me. _


End file.
